Week 1: Remembering Through Action

This past week marked the official start of the Dana Farber Marathon Challenge Team 2013 training and as part of my training routine, I also write a weekly blog. If you are reading this, you may know that already. I had planned on writing after our first team run yesterday, however I found myself at a loss for words trapped in the space of my own pause as I wrestled with the question that so many in our nation and around the world are also asking, “why?” As I sit to write today, my thoughts are with the families in Newtown, CT and with a nation that grieves. I am not sure I can stop asking the question, why? Although, I am not sure there is really a helpful answer to that question or one that could ever make any sense of such a tragedy. There will of course be the too easy answer and that is to accept it as simply an act of evil which leaves us all powerless and not responsible. As I ran with my teammates yesterday on our first group run, it became clear to me that I am going to choose to ask what I believe is the more difficult question and that is- what can I/we do to help prevent this from happening again?

As we know on Friday, December 14^th the unimaginable happened. Innocence was shattered as we watched what could barely even be imagined as a horrifying episode of Criminal Minds. Only this was not a scene crafted in the mind of a crime writer and one from which we could turn our head from the television, it was actually taking place in Newtown, CT- a town which could be Anytown, USA. Many of us were into our daily routines as we were alerted to the breaking news of a school shooting. We watched in disbelief as moms and dads, aunts and uncles, and grandparents were racing to an elementary school only to hope that they would find their children alive. This was truly the unimaginable. We quickly learned it was yet another school shooting and later we discovered the majority of the victims were 5 and 6 year olds. How could this be? All I could picture were my nieces who are in kindergarten and third grade. How could this be? There were not words to describe or answers to be found that could make any sense out of this tragedy.

As I drove to our team run in Lexington, MA on Saturday morning I was a bit nervous. I had been sick with bronchitis most of the week and while I probably should not have taken on the 10 mile run, it just seemed what I needed to do. I found myself thinking about all the tragedies in this world. As I thought about the families in Newtown, CT, I also thought about all the children with cancer and those who have lost their battle with cancer for whom many of us run. At this moment I thought of a facebook post from a dear friend who lost her son to cancer when he was in the first grade. On Friday, her facebook post read “at least I got to say goodbye to ________. My heart goes out to the families of Newtown, CT who didn’t get that chance.” Again, I am reminded at the unimaginable. Here is someone who had to say goodbye to her son when he was in first grade and lost his life to cancer and in this moment and tragedy she was recognizing the enormous grief of the families who just lost their children. She felt lucky because she got to say goodbye. As I continued on my drive, I really felt the shift from why school shootings? Why cancer? To thinking we need to do more…a lot more.

Over the last two days I have watched many friends post about the tragedy. I have witnessed the 24 hour news cycle and the way it can shape the story and bring the unimaginable into our living rooms. I have witnessed how the media gives life to both the evil behind the violence as well as the heroic acts of teachers and educators who in the face of such evil exemplify the triumph of selfless sacrifice and a greater good. I have witnessed a call for compassion from a victim’s father who in the midst of his grief found it in his heart to think of the shooters family and imagine how difficult this is for them in their own grief. Wow! I have witnessed many who have expressed gratitude for what they have and the reminder to hug those you love tighter. I have witnessed a number of friends who call others to action about the importance of being kind and to recognize the role we all play in making this a better world through our interactions with others. I have also witnessed arguments about gun control and 2^nd amendment rights. I have witnessed disagreement about whether this is the time to act or a time to allow for grief and healing.

I must be really honest. I think it is our collective responsibility to make this world a better place and that responsibility begins now. It is not something that we can take lightly or put off until tomorrow. It is not just a sound bite, a meme or a facebook post that quickly goes viral. It is cultivating a deep commitment to translate our thoughts and reactions to such a tragedy into actions.  I share the belief of many that each and every one of us contributes to making the world a more peaceful place by the way we enter each day, the way we interact with those who we come in contact, and our willingness to at times to compromise what we consider our freedoms and rights for the overall protection and safety of others. Our greatest moments as a community, a country and as a nation should not only be evident in our immediate response to tragedies but in our sustaining efforts to prevent them.

Guns kill. I cannot even pause and give consideration to the argument for why assault riffles should be accessible to anyone. Guns kill and if we want to live in a peaceful world, my belief is that we must get rid of the guns. I also realize that it is not a simple solution and guns are only one piece of a much larger discussion. We also need to give great attention and support to mental health in this country. Whether you agree with me or disagree with me, I believe the best way to honor the memory of those lost is to collectively wrestle with these challenging issues and take action to address them. We are likely to agree on that. It is not responsible as an educated nation to linger in a state of inaction and powerlessness. Grieving and healing will not stop if our nation’s leaders take action and I am not sure why we see these as sequential steps in a response to such a tragedy. It is not a knee jerk reaction to call for action, it is a responsible one.

While this blog aims to document my training and thinking as it relates to Dana Farber and my journey towards the Boston Marathon, the tragedy in Newtown, CT has been the focus on my thinking as we begin our training. Also, running as a member of the Dana Farber Team is a constant reminder to me of the importance of remembering and honoring through action. Tragedies do happen and we cannot always prevent them. However, we must not only dream the day and a world, in which these tragedies do not exist, we must work relentlessly to make that dream a reality. It is a choice to take responsibility for our world and we can make a difference but we must make that choice. We honor and remember through action. It is a time to choose action.

With Gratitude,

Kerry D

Why I am Running the Boston Marathon on April 15, 2013 as a member of the Dana Farber Marathon Challenge Team: My Call to Action

"Be the change you wish to see." It is not just a sign on my bookshelf, for me it is a call to action. The decision to apply to run again with the Dana Farber Marathon Challenge Team was not a decision I made quickly or taken lightly. In fact, it was one with which I have wrestled for almost three months. If you are reading this and you know me well, then you know I spent the last 5 months or so struggling with Iliotibial Band Syndrome which greatly impacted my ability to run. I try not to complain too much because while it is very frustrating, we all know that there are a lot worse things with which one could be faced. I am happy to say that I believe I am now on the other side of it. I was able to participate in the Reach the Beach Relay in September which is a 200 mile team relay run from Cannon Mountain to Hampton Beach and then just a few weeks ago I completed the Newburyport Green Stride Half Marathon. I did not feel great at either event, although I made it through without too much difficulty. 

This brings me back to the sign on my bookshelf, “Be the change you wish to see.” It was a gift from a student I had several years back. One day as her graduation was approaching she stopped by my office with the gift. She said that she saw it in a store and immediately thought of me. For anyone that works in education, you know how precious these moments are. In  that very moment I was honored to know that many of our class discussions about the importance of being an agent of change resonated with her and even more so that she saw me as an agent of change. That alone is a call to continued action. Little does this student know that as much as I appreciated the gift and her thoughtfulness, I am more thankful that her gift has become a visual cue that reminds me within each day holds the opportunity to make a difference. I learn so much more from students than I could ever hope they would learn from me.

When I applied to run the Boston Marathon as a member of the Dana Farber Marathon Challenge Team in 2012, I really thought it would be a one time thing. At the time, I so wanted to do something to honor the memory of my dear friend Matt’s nephew Josh. I could not imagine the enormity of the pain Matt and his family was experiencing. When I realized that the marathon in 2012 would fall on the 2^nd anniversary of Josh’s passing, I felt as if it was something that I not only wanted to do, but that I was supposed to do. I am not sure if that makes any sense so I will just say it was a sort of gravitational pull of my conscience to participate even though at the time I applied, I had very little confidence that I could run 26.2 miles, never-mind raise the $4,000 minimum required.  Yet, the gravitational force that was pulling me to do it, seemed stronger than my own doubt. I guess it is here I experienced the essence of faith. I took the leap. I finished the marathon and with your help, we raised over $15,000 in the process to support cancer research.  

A year later and with many miles logged and lessons learned; I am so aware that for many the pain still lingers. It does not go away. The work towards Dana Farber’s ultimate goal-a world without cancer, still needs people to be the change they wish to see. While great progress continues to be made and our collective team raised over 4 million dollars last year, there is still so much to be done. I do not have to go far for these reminders. At work I eat lunch everyday with 4 women, all of whom have an immediate family member that had or has cancer. Two lost their sister at a young age to cancer. If I just step out of my office and walk through the main office I work in or to other areas of campus, I have many colleagues who have batted cancer, and others who have lost children, a spouse or family member to this dreadful disease. All of these reminders are in front of me everyday. We do not always talk about it. Often we just go about our day. However, this does not mean I am not aware of the close proximity of cancer to so many of us. In the time since I ran the marathon, a faculty member who was on a committee I am co-chairing was diagnosed and lost his battle with cancer and he is one of many. For those who are battling cancer, the fight does not end. For those who have lost a love one to cancer, the grieving does not end.

When I think about cancer, I am reminded of a brief conversation that I had with faculty member who had supported my run last year. I did not know him all that well, however when he learned I was running he sent a check to me in an envelope with a small note that read, “Good luck and thank you. I am a customer of Dana Farber and know first hand the work they do.” After the marathon I saw him and thanked him again, and in our conversation he explained that he has come to see that there are two categories of people, those who have cancer or have been impacted by it and those who just haven’t had it yet. His words were echoed later in a post on facebook of a dear friend who lost her son to cancer that read something like “before I was a cancer mom, I was a mom of three healthy boys.” While it is sometimes overwhelming to really see the realities of cancer all around us, it is something that we must do. We all want for a world without cancer and many of us feel powerless in this effort. My experience running with the Dana Farber Marathon Challenge team last year made me feel like I was doing what I could to support such an important effort. It was answering the “call to action” that sits on my bookshelf. I was “being the change that I wished to see,” at least in my small way.

For over three months I have wrestled with the decision of whether I would be able to run a marathon given all the challenges I faced with my IT band. I felt my body was weak and I really did not think I was up for the challenge. After successfully completing the Green Stride Half Marathon two weeks ago, even thought it was my slowest half marathon to date, I found my strong. I realized my body was not where it was a year ago but if I really worked at it and patiently and persistently logged the miles one by one, I could once again be a contributing member of the Dana Farber Marathon Challenge Team. In this moment, I heard a call to action. Below is a picture as I finished the Green Stride Half Marathon.

 It was in finding my strong that I also recognized that in spite of my injury, I was so very privileged. You see, I could choose to not apply and to not participate in the Dana Farber Marathon Challenge. Having the choice to not to take on the fight with cancer is truly a luxury and one many who deal with it on a daily basis would welcome. I could convince myself that there are other ways that I could “be the change I wish to see” and I would be dishonest if I didn’t admit to having many of these conversations with myself. However it is here I felt the gravitational pull of my conscience again. I do not have to face chemo treatments or take a loved one to chemo treatments. I get to take my nieces and nephew trick or treating and experience the joy of their excitement and wonder. I do not have to measure my life by three month check-up appointments. I get to have Thanksgiving Dinner without an empty seat at the table because of cancer. I am able to run and as difficult as fundraising can be, I can do my best.

So, yes I have applied and am officially accepted as a member of the Dana Farber Marathon Challenge 2013 Team. It is in honor of the many people around me who have dealt with cancer, who are dealing with cancer or who will learn they have to deal with cancer that I have decided to lace up my sneakers and give it another shot. It is also with deep gratitude and in recognition of the many privileges that I experience everyday that I will be logging over 500 training miles in my journey to the Boston Marathon on April 15, 2013. I hope you will join me and ‘be the change you wish to see.” Last year we were an incredible collective force supporting Dana Farber’s ultimate goal- a world without cancer. Let’s gear up. Game on!

With Gratitude,

Kerry D

August 2012- Experiencing In-Between Spaces

(This entry/post was written in August 2012 but I was not training so did not post it. I figured it was part of the journey so I am posting it now.)

It has been more than four months since I finished the Boston Marathon and when I posted my last blog update. I began writing last December about my running and my experience as a member of the Dana Farber Marathon Team at the recommendation of those who had trained and fundraised before. I was told it would be a great way to share my journey with family, friends, and supporters. As someone who tends to draw wisdom from experience, I took the advice and started to blog documenting my experiences and the evolution of my body, mind and spirit as I logged many miles. I shared this with anyone who found it interesting. Running for me is something that brings clarity to chaos, adds color to the canvas of my life, and replaces complexity with a creative energy as my mind travels as I log many miles. I guess I never anticipated that stopping this activity of running and documenting the journey would create a sort of empty space. Blogging had become more than sharing my journey, it also become a place to anchor my thinking.

So here I am in this in-between space. The marathon has become a memory and part of the past. After having such a great experience and having raised over $15,000, I have to say that while I thought I would only run one more marathon (Boston 2012), shortly after my aches subsided, I found myself contemplating the idea of running with Dana Farber again. After all, how could I not give 18 weeks of training to help support an effort aimed at a world without cancer.  It is the now almost the end of the summer which is a time of reflection and goal setting for those of us who work in education or for anyone who believes the New Year begins on an academic calendar. I am really not sure what this next year brings for me in terms of running. I do know I am scheduled to run in the Reach the Beach Relay in 3 weeks. However, I have not logged many miles. I have spent almost three months dealing with Iliotibial Band Syndrome.

For those who are not runners and are not familiar with ITBS, for me, it presented first as outer knee pain following Boston’s Run to Remember Half Marathon. I finished the race, but really struggled because of the pain. For those of you that run, you may know this is very frustrating. It takes time and patience and I have been very good at doing all the things that help it heal. I went to an Orthopedic Sports Doctor, I have stretched, I have gone for physical therapy, I foam roll, I balance running with using the cybex arc trainer, I cut back on miles, I do exercises to strengthen my hips, I had a cortisone shot, I went for more physical therapy, I have had body work massages and I bought new sneakers. I promised myself I would not complain about this. After all, I spent a good 18 weeks training and running for Dana Farber and I learned of so many people that deal with so much more. So with this perspective, I am not complaining and I am searching for lessons about balance to extract from this experience.

Learning Balance in Healing

As someone who likes to push capacity this is quite challenging. I asked my doctor, “How much is too much?” I figured that if he could tell me this, I would stay within the boundaries of his guidance. His answer was simple, “you will know you have done too much because it will hurt.” In the moment, this did not appear helpful. I had read all the articles I could find and this was just repeating what I had already found on my own. I am not quite sure why I expected that he would have a magic answer but yet I still hoped that he would tell me to run a certain mileage and I would be fine. The truth is we are all different and our bodies respond differently.  It was here that I entered a real experiment in listening to my body which is somewhat foreign to those of us who spend most of our time ignoring it. After all, I am not sure that there are many days that something doesn’t hurt a little bit.

This is actually one of the greatest lessons I have learned from running. I do not expect to feel great when I run. During most runs I encounter fatigue, doubt, burning muscles, labored breathing, and a variety of other issues that surface on any given run. Removing the expectation that a run will be problem and pain free actually allows me to experience each run for what it is. If I expect fatigue, doubt, labored breathing and burning muscles to show up then I am not surprised by their presence although I am appreciative on the days they stay away. On the days when they do arrive, I try not to waste time being annoyed by their presence and instead see them as the challenge of the day which is all part of making me stronger. Usually if I can convince myself that my stronger self is more powerful than my weaker self, fatigue turns to faith, doubt turns to determination, and labored breathing and burning muscles turns to a “bring it on attitude.” 

My training has become a lot more complicated these days. Each week is a balancing act trying to push my capacity so I can build my miles once again while exercising patience in listening to my body. The doctor was right. When I have done too much, I find my stride is slowed to a walk because my knee (IT band) has had enough. This has made me think a lot about boundaries. It amazes me how ideas cultivate. I will get back to my thinking on boundaries at another time. Perhaps I found boundaries intriguing because I run in places where stone walls and broken fences create boundaries for open meadows and where sea grass and sand dunes form a border that are shaped and reshaped by the sea. None of these are permanent boundaries but help to define and shape space.  As I enter this New Year, I am not sure what my goals for running will be. My mind is ready for anything, but will my body be ready for another marathon? I do not know. However, I can say for sure that I am going to keep putting one foot in front of the other and will remain open to all the lessons that this challenge and these in-between spaces have in store for me. Stay tuned...

Always in gratitude,

Kerry D

Week 20: Reflections on the Boston Marathon 2012 as a Member of the Dana Farber Marathon Challenge Team

I spent 18 weeks training and fundraising with one specific focus-running the 2012 Boston Marathon in an effort to honor a little boy named Josh by raising funds to support Dana Farber’s ultimate goal- a world without cancer. I entered this challenge as one person, but very quickly I realized I was part of this amazing team of over 500 runners and many volunteers and supporters.  I knew this was an enormous undertaking and as the weeks passed and I participated in our weekly team runs, I learned of so many others who have been personally touched by cancer. I also found that as people learned about my effort, they would share their personal stories with me.  This was a constantly reminded of the importance of our collective effort. As the weekend before the marathon approached, I had no idea just how intense of an experience this would be and the many ways it would forever change me.

Marathon Weekend Begins with the BAA Warnings

It all began when the weather reports were predicting above average temperatures ranging anywhere from the 80’s to the 90’s. Quite honestly, this was not a major concern for me at first because I actually do not mind warmer temperatures. Although, I have never run a marathon in these predicted temperatures so I did listen to the many warnings which the Boston Athletic Associate began sending out as the marathon was approaching. The warnings the sent to all runners included the following:

§The weather conditions will involve an increased element of risk to all participants due to the heat.  Only the fittest runners should consider participating.  
§We are now making the recommendation that if you are not highly fit, you should NOT run this race.
§ Inexperienced marathoners should not run.
§Those who have only trained in a cooler climate should also not run.
§Those who decide to run should take significant precautions.  Run at a slower pace and maintain hydration.  Take frequent walk breaks.  This is not a day to run a personal best.  Speed can kill.
§For the overwhelming major of those who have entered, you should adopt the attitude that THIS IS NOT A RACE.

Wow! These warnings were pretty serious and had a lot of people worried. In fact over 4,500 runners decide not to participate and deferred their participation to next year. For me, it was never a question of if I would still run. I would be cautious but I was still not overly concerned. I would simply run slow and listen to my body. This is something I learned a lot about during training. I also would be sure to hydrate, use GU and other things to keep me feeling ok. I also would need to make major adjustments to my expectations as it related to time. My training had me prepared to run in approximately 4 hours and 15 minutes and that was adding in a bit of time to be sure I walked swiftly through water stops. However, all of the experts were saying that we could expect to add up to an hour onto our projected times. I was not thrilled with this, especially after training so much. Who would be? However, I listened. It was more important to me to run smart and enjoy the experience than to push for a time and end up in a medical tent. After all, I did not begin this journey wanting to run a marathon in a particular time. I was running to honor a little boy named Josh by raising money for Dana Farber-this had nothing to do with how long it would take me. So I kept my focus on the why I was running as opposed to all the things that I had no control over such as the weather.

The EXPO

I had planned to go to the Expo to pick up my number on Saturday. This was after the advice of a friend who has run many marathons. She had suggested going on Saturday so I would be able to enjoy it and this would leave Sunday as a rest day so I could be off my feet. This was excellent advice. It was arriving at the EXPO that I think I realized what a major event I was participating in. It was amazing to drive into Boston and to feel the energy that seemed to have taken over the entire city. I arrived at the Expo Center and was thrilled to find parking right away. I was meeting my friend from college, Annie, who was also running. There were so many people. I am not sure why this surprised me. I knew that there were 27,000 people registered to run. I guess I just never really thought about what 27,000 people looked like or what it would mean to organize for 27,000 people and their families to arrive in a city and to pick up their race packets. The organization was unbelievable. As I waited for Annie, I just watched all the people who were carrying orange bags. These were the Boston Athletic Association Bags that runners would use to put their belongings in at the starting line so they could be brought to the finish line. All of these people had spent the last several months or more training to run Boston and the BAA organized everything. Wow, is really all I can say. Below is a picture of the number pick up.

I think the highlight of the Expo for me was getting to meet and have my picture taking with Team Hoyt-Dick and his son Rick. If you are not familiar with their story I would suggest you check it out. Here is a link to Team Hoyt’s website http://www.teamhoyt.com/. If you are seeking inspiration you will surely find it! I know just having the few moments I had with them made any concerns of the heat seem like a challenge but one we would conquer.

The Dana Farber Marathon Challenge Pasta Dinner

The Dana Farber Marathon Challenge Team hosts a pasta dinner as a way to bring the team together to prepare for the challenge in front of us. Very early on first time runners were told this was an event that should not be missed. I was very excited because my dear friend Matt was flying in to see the marathon. I was running in memory of his nephew Josh. My friend Annie who was also running would attend. I was not prepared for just how intense this experience would be. When we arrived at the Marriot Copley and took the escalators to the floor where the pasta dinner was being held, we saw the red shirts everywhere. These were the Dana Farber volunteer shirts. It was just another reminder of how many people are collectively working to support this effort and Dana Farber’s ultimate goal-a world without cancer. Then as we got off the escalator and walked down the hall the walls were filled with “In Honor of Cards.” These were cards that all the runners filled out and had the names of people for whom they were running. My nieces Marlee and Rori decorated my “In Honor of Cards.” They decorated one for Josh and they also decorated one for anyone who listed a name on my fundraising page.

It was enough to stop you. “How could there be so many cards?” I thought to myself. There are just so many. I also kept thinking to myself that while this was “so many” this was only the people who were connected in some way to our 500 team members. I would equate the overwhelming feeling to that I experienced when standing in front of the Vietnam Memorial when you realized that each name represents a person and all the people who love them. My eyes began to fill with tears. I was so glad I was doing this, but in this moment I know longer could tolerate listening to anyone else talking about how they were not going to make their goal pace because of the heat. This seemed like such a small thing to deal with given the enormity of what so many people who were in our presence deal with daily.

We found many of the “In Honor of Cards” that my nieces made and located Josh’s. Then we continue to walk towards the banquet hall. Here we were greeted with poster size pictures of the children who are patient partners with runners. These are children that are currently undergoing treatment and there were also many children who had posters that were once patient partners who lost their battle with cancer and had a runner running in their memory. Matt and I just looked down the long hallway and both had tears in our eyes. There were just so many. One is too many. This is why I was running. Many of these children and their families would be at Mile 25 to cheer us on as we entered our last 1.2 miles of the marathon. It is all the inspiration one needs.

As we entered the banquet room I could not believe how many people were there. I guess with 500 runners and their families I should have expected this. I was very excited to connect with some of my teammates that I had met either through our team runs or through Daily Mile (Linn, Kevin, Megan, Betti, Kate, Karen, Heather and many others). So many of these people I did not know when this all started had become such an important part of my training and inspiration. One of my teammates-Dennis Moran who has been fundraising for Dana Farber for 18 years provided an additional dose of inspiration. Here is a quick video about his journey. This was played at the dinner. Again, I was reminded that while we needed to be cautious of the challenges with the heat, we were running for such a greater purpose- supporting Dana Farber’s Ultimate goal- a world without cancer. In many ways, having arrived ready to run and having raised all the money we had was the larger victory.

When dinner was over, it was time to focus on getting a good night sleep and making sure everything was ready to go for an early morning departure from Boston. Annie, Matt and I returned to the Park Plaza where we were staying. Once again, I was not prepared for the range of emotions I would experience. When we arrived back at the hotel, Matt had a letter from his sister (Josh’s mom) for me. It was a beautiful letter and again a reminder of the reasons that I was running. I found an extra zip lock bag so I could put the letter in it and carry it with me as I made the trek from Hopkinton to Boston. I was so aware that while within 24 hours I would be finished the Boston Marathon, yet when the 24 hours is over and we have completed the Marathon, so many families pain and struggle with cancer would continue.  I had learned so much about cancer, the many people who have been impacted by it and the amazing research that is happening at Dana Farber, and I found myself hearing the words of Robert Frost that echoed in my mind as I started this journey, “and miles to go before I sleep.” We are making great strides, but we still have a long way to go.

Monday April 16, 2012 Josh’s 2^nd Anniversary and Boston Marathon 2012

I began my day with a facebook post about why I was running. Today I honor a boy named Josh. I also asked people to remember or think of someone who had been impacted by cancer. In hind sight, while my intent was good, anyone who has been impacted does not need a reminder to think of the impact of cancer. They live with the reminders everyday. Here I was reminded of the luxury that comes with being able to think of Cancer or any other disease as a “cause” that needs funding as opposed to a “reality” that one lives with daily. Again, I was reminded of the importance of our collective efforts because cancer is so much more than a cause, it is a reality for so many.

Imagine getting 20,000 people to one destination within several hours. Annie and I made our way to busses as we walked with crowds of runners. It was amazing how 30 plus busses would pull up at a time and runners would be loaded onto them. Once they were full, another 30 or so busses would pull up. Wow! Again I was amazed at the organization required for such an event. The ride took about 45 minutes or so. We were dropped of at Athletes Village. Here runners from all over were hydrating and getting ready to run Boston! This is where Annie and I would part ways. I needed to make my way to the Dana Farber Meeting area. This is when I realized I did not write down where it was. Leave it to me to forget such an important detail. Lucky for me, I quickly spotted a Dana Farber shirt and this teammate had a map in hand. Here name was Marlo and I was very fortunate to have found her. We both made our way to the Dana Farber Meeting area just in time for the team picture. This was the first time that all team members were present. It was an amazing feeling to be part of a sea of Dana farber team shirts who were all running for such an important effort. See team picture below.

The Boston Marathon 2012-Learning to Listen

Throughout my training, I organized my weekly blogs around a theme or idea that stuck out. As I think about the actual running of the Marathon, one thing really stuck out to me and that is learning to listen. Now throughout the race this took many forms for me. At the very beginning it was simply learning to listen to the experts and their advice. We needed to make major adjustments to our race plans. While this was more challenging for some, listening to those who are experienced is important. Listening to your self is also important. While for me, it was never a question of whether I should run, many runners had to make a difficult choice to not run. This could not have been easy to do. Anyone who has trained for a marathon knows the many hours, the many miles and the many sacrifices that are required to be prepared for the one race day. However, for many this choice was about being smart. In cooler temperatures runners who were not feeling 100% could have pushed through with less risk. The added challenges due to temperature would put many at risk as evidenced by the 2500 that ended up in medical tents and the many that were transported to hospitals. I honor the courage of the many runners that had to make the diffcult decision tnot to run or stop running. The smart decision is often the hardest to make.

I also found it incredibly helpful to listen to the voices of supporters and this include those we knew and those we did not know. It was amazing how motivating it was to hear a supporter or a stranger call out and say “go Kerry, you can do this!” or “Kerry, you look strong.” As someone who often runs with headphones, I was amazed at how much feeling connected to those around me helped. Again, I will add the importance of listening to experts as well as your self. As we ran through each water stop, I heard in my head the voices of many “stay hydrated.” As my teammates and I ran through each water stop we were sure to stay hydrated and this certainly helped. It is easy to get caught up in the excitement and to not feel thirsty early on. We made sure we drank at every water stop. It was so wonderful to see friends and family along the way. Just knowing that you were there helped to pull us along.

Part of listening to myself was reframing what I needed to hear. This was regulating my own self talk. For example, early on my teammates and I reminded each other to stay slow and steady. We also kept telling each other that while we trained and were capable of going faster that the heat was outside of our control and that we were really just going to take in the experience. After all we were running for Dana Farber which has been such an honor. It was not about our time, but our effort to support a world without cancer. This was not just about reframing, it was also about acceptance. I was reminded that we may dream of running in ideal conditions and we can train and prepare to the best of our ability, but in the final hour we have no control over what conditions will exist on any given day. Sounds a lot like life. We also needed to give ourselves permission to incorporate walk breaks. Sometimes we know what we need to do, yet it is hard to surrender to that. Below is a picture of me with my two teammates Heather and Linn. I am so grateful to both of them for our many training runs, for running the majority of the marathon together, and most importantly for our friendships that emerged from our shared experience.

Finishing with Gratitude

My journey to the marathon was many things. Easy was not one of them. However, I am not one that is drawn to easy so that suited me just fine. Throughout this journey I began my blog posts with a fundraising update and with gratitude for the many of you that have supported our collective effort. I find it most fitting to end this post with gratitude.  Below is a picture of family and friends who were there as we passed through Welleseley and then again when I turned the corner onto Boylston Street and crossed the finish line. Thank you! I know it was a hot day for spectators too! Thank you to the many other friends and family who were out there that I did not capture in a picture! You made such a difference!


Over the past 18 weeks we raised over $15,000 to support a world without cancer. This would not have been possible without the many people who made contributions, offered words of encouragement, volunteered their time at group runs, and shared their personal experiences that kept me going when I most needed a little boost. I am so filled with gratitude for all that you have done to not only dream a better world but to take action to see that one day we do live in a world without cancer. A world without cancer does not happen over night. Like running a marathon, or raising over $15,000 to support cancer research, It happens one mile and one donation at a time. Together we will get there. Thank you for being a part of this important effort and sharing this journey with me!

With Gratitude,

Kerry D

Week 19: We Did It! We raised over $15,000 and I Finished the Boston Marathon

It was a hot day to run a marathon but it was a day with a purpose. We raised over $15,000 to support cancer research and Dana Farber' Ultimate Goal- A world without Cancer- and I completed the Boston Marathon! Below is a picture as I approached the finish line. Thank you to everyone for your support, encouragement, and generosity. Together we acomplished so much! I will be providing a final blog post once I have gathered all my thoughts! For now, I am enjoying some rest and relaxation!

With gratitude,
Kerry D

Week 18: Arriving and Remembering

It is here. We have arrived. Tomorrow at this time I will be moving with my Dana Farber Marathon Teammates towards Corral 6 in wave three (10:40am) as we prepare to begin our long awaited trek from Hopkinton to Boston. Throughout this journey I have thought a lot about the passage of time and have written about it on several occasions. Sometimes it has been the “hurry up and wait” experience of time. Other times it has been the “are we ever going to get there” experience with time. Sometimes it is the “I want this to last forever” experience.  Today, it is “I cannot believe we are here.” I am always taken with the paradox of an arrival. It in many ways is both an end and a beginning. We have many logged miles behind us and our training is complete, yet we have a 26.2 mile journey remaining. We are ready. We are strong. Today we remember why we run.

 Fundraising Update

As I have done every week, I will start with a fundraising update. Once again, you have helped me shatter every goal we have set together. This past week we crossed the $15,000 raised. As of today we have $15,285 and I still have checks to send in. WOW!!! I am in awe of the generosity of so many family, friends, co-workers and supporters. It is a clear reminder to me of the power of community when everyone chips in what they can for a better world. Our efforts are directly supporting Dana Farber’s Ultimate Goal- A world without cancer. Over the past 18 weeks I have learned from many of you how cancer has touched your lives and for many of you, Dana Farber played a critical role. Please accept my deepest gratitude for your support and for sharing your stories with me. It really has helped keep me going. Our efforts are making a difference!

Remembering

As I pack my bags and get my gear all together, I cannot stop and think of how this journey started and the reason I am running. Two years ago tomorrow, my dear friend Matt, lost his beautiful nephew to Ewing’s Sarcoma. The strength and courage of Josh as he faced this horrible disease and the strength, courage and commitment of my friend Matt and his sister and their entire family will forever be an example for me of enduring love. While I have run many miles in the last 4 months in honor of Josh’s memory, this pales in comparison to the journey Josh and his family faced. I cannot even imagine what that was like or what it is like to continue to live with his loss. So today while many are worrying about the heat predicted for tomorrow or the 26.2 miles that await us, I am simply honoring the memory of a very special boy named Josh, his family and my friend Matt, whom I love so completely. I will draw strength from their courage, and continued strength as they live each day remembering and honoring Josh.

In thinking about how this journey started, I actually found the email that I sent to my friend Matt and I thought I would share it because it certainly evidences the passage of time as well as the power of deciding to do something and how in time, it is possible to arrive. I wrote this email to Matt the day after watching the Boston Marathon last year on heartbreak hill.

April 19, 2011

Hello, Matt.

I am sorry I missed your call yesterday. I was in at the Boston Marathon. It was so exciting. My cousin ran and finished which was great! I have an idea that I want to run by you and see what you think. I was so inspired by all the runners yesterday and I kept thinking to myself that I want to do this race again and then kept finding reasons why I did not think I can. Then I saw all the people running by running in memory of someone for either Dana Farber or Childrens Hospital. I kept finding myself thinking of Josh and his battle and how strong he was and how strong you were to be right there with him. Of course I was on Heartbreak hill which truly tests one’s endurance. Perhaps this is why you and Josh were with me all day as I stood on the hill.  It was so inspiring. Anyway, I found myself thinking that I would like to run in honor of Josh and in honor of your commitment to him-sticking by his side when it was so tough. You endured many heartbreak hills. When I got home I started looking and actually inquired for information from Dana Farber and then realized that next year, the Marathon falls on April 16^th and I thought if this was something that you and your sister were ok with, I would really like to see if I can get accepted to run next year on the Dana Farber team in Josh’s honor. Clearly you guys would need to be ok with this and I would also need to apply and get accepted. I would also have a lot of training to get me to that level, but it is something that I think I can do if I work hard enough and stay the course. You would be my inspiration because you have such endurance!!

Love you,

Kerry

So here we are… it is April 15, 2012 and I will be running the Boston Marathon in memory of Joshua Navez Mejia.  Matt and his sister were ok with me running in Josh’s honor. As I hoped, I was selected to run as a member of the Dana Farber Marathon Challenge Team. I trained hard over the course of the last 18 weeks and am ready to run 26.2 miles in whatever the weather brings and more importantly we have raised over $15,000 to support cancer research and Dana Farber’s ultimate goal- A world without cancer. My run and all the money raised will not bring Josh back. However, my hope is to simply honor his journey, his strength and his memory. So when I lace up my sneakers tomorrow and face the heat, the hills, and the 26.2 miles that separates Hopkinton from Boston, I will be thinking about Josh, his mom, his family and especially my dear friend Matt! I honor all of you more than you could ever know. I also will be thinking of the many people who have shared their stories with me. Cancer is a horrible disease and so many of you faced it and continue to face it with such courage. It will be the collective courage and strength of all of you and the support I have received from so many loved ones that will be pulling me with gravitational forces towards the finish! Thank you for sharing this journey with me!

With Gratitude,

Kerry D

Race Information:

If anyone is interested in tracking me during the race my bib number is 23121. My start time is 10:40am.You can receive text messages by texting the word RUNNER to 345678. This will then send you text alerts when I pass the 10K (6.2 miles), 13.1 miles, 30K (18.6 miles) and Finish line 26.2 miles. You can also see updates on the Boston Athletic Association Website by entering my bib number. They will provide updates every 5K (3.1 mile).

Week 17: Learning to Stretch

As I sit down and begin to write this week’s blog, I find that simply typing week 17 has a way of making my eyes pop out of my head and brings me to a halt thinking, can we really be this close? I have to be honest, in many ways it has felt as if April 16^th- the actual day of the Boston Marathon-is like a mirage in the desert. I have often found my mind wandering and thinking will we every actually get there? As of today I have logged 469 training miles since December 12^th. The reality is that ten days from now, this 18 week journey to the Boston Marathon will have become a lasting memory packed with so many lessons learned. In many ways this journey has formed a sort of tapestry of stories and lessons for me. Some of the lessons are about running. Some of the lessons are about living. Some of the lessons are about cancer. Some of the lessons are from people I know. Some of the lessons are from those whom I have only met in listening to the telling and retelling of their stories. The thread that weaves all the stories together seems to be our collective effort to dream a world without cancer-one step, one mile and one donation at a time.  This week my lesson has focused on learning to stretch. I guess there is truth in the expression that “it is better late than never.” 

Fundraising Update:

Each week I do like to start with an update on fundraising. After all, raising money to support Dana Farber’s Ultimate goal- a world without cancer is why I run so many miles. Each week I continue to be filled with such gratitude for the support I have received and for the difference I know we are collectively making. Yes I am getting tired and sometimes even cranky from all the miles. However, each time I feel tired I am reminded by so many who are dealing with cancer just how important this is. So while I do not like asking people for money, this has been different because I am not just asking people for money. I am asking people to contribute to an effort that will make the world better for all. This is something that I believe we all should be doing. So, again please accept my deepest gratitude for your support. Also, I thank those who may not have been able to contribute to this effort, but who are contributing to making the world a better place in other ways. The key is that we all do what we think we can and perhaps sometimes push ourselves to stretch to do a little bit more.

As of today we have $14,361 posted to my fundraising page. However, once the checks that have been mailed in are posted we will be at $14,836. This means we will be $164 away from hitting the ultimate stretch goal of raising $15,000 to support cancer research. WOW! This is pretty amazing. While I am certainly someone who sets the bar high and works like a crazy person to reach the goals I set, this has only been possible because of the incredibly generosity of all of you. My initial goal was $5000 however it was friends, family and colleagues that very quickly showed me that the bar was not high enough. Last week I wrote about the power of community. Well, the success we have met with fundraising has only been possible because of community. Thank you for being part of a community committed to a world without cancer.

Learning to Stretch

Sometimes it is the final steps of a journey that are the most challenging. I have been pretty lucky over the last 17 weeks and have not experienced any major set backs during our training. Who would guess that after last week’s 15 mile tapering run that my hip and knee would start to bother me. Yes, that is right after getting all these miles logged my knee and hip started to hurt quite a bit. I very quickly started reading about what type of strain it could be and how I could fix it-quick. From a quick review of running websites I guessed that my ITB band was probably tight and acting up a bit. The discomfort moved from my hip down to my knee. It was nothing terrible, but it was enough to raise my level of concern. The answers I found were to stretch, ice and rest. At this point in the game I was not taking any chances. I took it really easy and did a lot of stretching. As the week went on, it really felt better. Now I have to be honest. I know stretching is important but it is not something I have ever done regularly. My muscles get really tight and to even attempt to stretch usually does not feel like I am stretching so I usually skip it.

Here is where the concept of stretching became my lesson for the week. It made sense in so many ways. First, on a very basic level the physical act of stretching is something that helps relieve our tight muscles. It is something we know we need to do, but I am sure I am not alone when I say I often skip this. It is also something that requires consistent effort. This is something that should not have been unfamiliar to me as I logged so many miles. Also, stretching is something that we improve upon in small increments. I shared that I often do not stretch because I feel as if I am not flexible. Well, we become flexible through stretching. I saw this happen this week. The first day I attempted to stretch I looked more like I was standing with a slight bend. The more time I spent and the more I stretched the farther I could reach and the better my hip and knee felt.  Here is where the act of stretching moved from a physical exercise I was engaged in to a meaningful metaphor.

Stretching as a Metaphor

As I stretched a lot this week, I was reminded that “stretching” has really been what this last 17 weeks has been about.  All aspects of this journey have been about stretching to reach beyond what at first seems impossible. For me, I was not sure I could run 26.2 miles. I certainly did not imagine we would raise $15,000. Yet, I wanted so badly to honor the memory of a little boy named Josh who lost his battle with cancer 2 years ago on April 16^th and running with Dana Farber on the anivesary of his passing seemed like a promising way to do that. Still I was not sure this was within reach. However, one step at time, one mile, and one donation at time has brought us 10 days out from the marathon and I am so ready.  A dear friend sent me a quote today as inspiration and it is very fitting here. Joan of Arc said, “I am not afraid, I was born to do this.” While I am not sure I was born to run marathons, I am certainly not afraid, I am ready and I am strong! So on marathon monday I will summons the strength of so many and Joan of Arc has been added to the list(Thank you Kathy).  I have run 469 miles and together we have raised almost $15,000 to support Dana Farber’s Ultimate Goal. If that is not evidence of the power of stretching, I am not sure what is.

I would like to share a brief video that I find incredibly motivation and I think in many ways connects to the metaphor of stretching. The video is done by a motivational company and this is just a quick clip. 212 degrees is the temperature where water turns to steam. Here it represents a sort of attitude that embodies going that extra step. The brief video shows that it is often a small distance that separates those who win and those who take second place and a degree that can power steam engines. Again, I am drawing on the metaphor rather than the intensity of winning first place. The elite athletes have nothing to worry about. I start almost 40 minutes after they do. I am totally kidding. I do start at least 40 minutes after them, but even if we started at the same time they could probably run two marathons in the time it will take me to run one. However, the message in the video is to push yourself that little bit further than you think you can. Sometimes things are not so far outside your reach.

I will add complexity to the metaphor. Sometimes the metaphorical degree which separates the hot water from boiling water is the hardest degree to stretch too. While in science a degree may be an equal measurement, in training and life the space that exists between our personal milestones are not always equally measured and if the space were equal, the effort required to cover such ditance would not be. In fact, I would argue that sometimes it is the final push to a new threshold (the space that moves hot water to steam and powers engines) that requires the most effort. Here I will return to a place of gratitude for all those in my life that have supported me on this journey. It is your generosity and support that has fuelled my motivation, my fundraising and my running. In many ways you are my 212 degrees. While you may not think one donation can lead to a world without cancer, I believe it can and it will. One degree makes a difference and can power steam engines. I like to think the same of one donation. Thank you for being part of an effort to support Dana Farber’s Ultimate goal- a world without cancer. You are the difference that our world needs.

With Gratitude,

Kerry D

Week 16: The Power of Community

As I sit here and type, the birds are chirping. It is after dinner and it is still light outside. Spring has arrived, or at least we think she has. Since we began our training, I have run 441 miles. Just typing that makes me tired. Once again I am reminded of the passage of time and the power of progress when you move towards a goal one step at a time. It is hard for me to believe that we are only two weeks away from the Boston Marathon. While last week we completed our longest run, today’s 15 mile run marks the end of my long runs until the Marathon. Of course at this point everything is relative. I will have a 10-12 mile run next weekend but with all the miles we have been logging 10-12 miles seems like a short run. I am not sure how this happens. At one point 10-12 miles was a long run. However, after months of training with incredible support it is really amazing what the human body can do.

Me,Zach Dubuc, and Steve Poirer volunteering at Shifter's 5K Dana Farber Fundraiser

Fundraising Update
I have always started my blog posts with an update on our fundraising progress and in many ways this is deeply connected to my theme this week-the power of community. As of today, I have $14,291 posted to my account and there are an additional $450 worth of checks that I have sent in that will be posted soon. This brings us to a grand total of $14,741. This means we are $249 away from $15,000. If you have not yet donated, now is a perfect time to help get us to our destination. For those who have donated and given support in the ways that you can, there are not words that could adequately express my complete gratitude for the incredibly support that I have received. Community is at the core this support.  While I appreciate the support in my fundraising efforts because I believe Dana Farber is a cutting edge hospital where researchers are doing amazing work, I have been so touched by the many stories so many of you have shared about the ways in which cancer has touched your life. I also feel even more committed to my fundraising and running because so many of you have also shared how Dana Farber has impacted you or your family.

This for me is the real deal. “A world without cancer” is not just a catchy slogan for Dana Farber. It is a goal which they are working towards with laser like focus.  Each of your donations and the stories you have shared have become part of our community effort to help Dana Farber see their goal realized. So it is with a heart felt thanks that I say-you are making a difference in the lives of families today and families of tomorrow. I really wish that so many of us did not have such connections to Dana Farber, but if we must face cancer we must do so with every resource possible. Thank you for being the resource driving change for a better tomorrow-one without cancer.

The Power of Community

Community makes so much possible. This is an idea that has really echoed loudly throughout my experience training for the marathon and especially doing so with the Dana Farber Marathon Challenge Team. As Margaret Mead so wisely said “A small group of thoughtful people could change the world. In fact, that is the only thing that ever has.” Each week throughout my training, I have been reminded of the power of a group of people who may not see themselves as changing the world, but at least recognize that they can make a difference. This is community in action and it has many faces.

 Long Runs with Teammates

Over the last 16 weeks I have been so inspired by so many of my teammates and the many reasons for which they run. Perhaps it is this connection that adds such meaning to our long runs. It really gives perspective to the challenge of the long run when you hear some of the stories of the challenges so many of our extended community (those for whom we run) have faced or continued to face. Suddenly it makes the rising hill that awaits us seem small. There really is something magical about spending 2-3 hours and sometimes more with a group of people who are running with purpose- a world without cancer. Sure, we focus on pace. We talk about the importance of hydration and strive for negative splits as our coach Jack so wisely advises. We talk about the events of the week between runs. However, on all of our team runs I have learned how many lives cancer has touched-one life is too many. I am a better runner for having trained with them, but more importantly I am a better person for having shared time and stories with them.

Teammates on Daily Mile

In addition to my teammates with whom I have shared many miles with, I have also experienced community with a number of teammates on Daily Mile- a social networking site where we log our miles and give each-other support. It is really amazing how logging your miles each day and each week can seem monotonous. However, when I log it on daily mile it is quickly followed with a response from some of my other teammates who are also working towards their goals. I have meet several teammates in-person at team runs or races, but it is amazing how this online community has provided support for me. Perhaps it is the shared experience. Perhaps it is simply knowing that you are not alone. We have celebrated small wins together. Sometimes it is a great workout or a run at a pace we did not think possible. Sometimes it is connected to our fundraising. Sometimes, it is sharing the cumulative pains of logging so many miles each week. However, again, the power of community is reinforced for me. I am stronger both mentally and physically because I have shared my weekly training with this community.

Dana Farber Marathon Challenge Volunteers

The Dana Farber Marathon Challenge Team volunteers have made the long runs possible. I was reminded of this today as a fellow teammate and attempted to log 16 miles without the organized and perfectly spaced water stops. Today I struggled with hydration. Yet, it was our DFMC community that allowed me to run with a teammate today instead of running alone. It is not just the water and Gatorade on the organized runs that these volunteers provide. It is the support and encouragement and their shared stories that makes our runs more meaningful. I always make sure to thank the volunteers because quite honestly I am not sure I could have been as successful on my long runs without them. Once again, I was stronger because of their presence. Community is what makes things possible and the Dana Farber Marathon Challenge Team is not jus the runners. The volunteers work just has hard and make just as much of a commitment. Many of them give up their Saturday’s or Sundays all over the course of the 18 weeks of training. I will say that is something special. I am a stronger runner and a better person because of the time and dedication of the volunteers.

Family and Supporters

Our families, friends and our supporters play an amazing role in supporting our efforts and in making Dana Farber’s Ultimate Goal- A world without Cancer possible. You are patient with us when we are tired and when our training schedules demands more time than we might have. You ask us how training is going or how many miles we logged over the weekend. You encourage us and remind us of the importance of our efforts when we may have had a not so great run and are feeling less the confident. You take the time to share your personal connection to our efforts which adds fuel to the flame that keeps us going. You give so generously to make meeting our fundraising goals possible.

 Making a Difference

I will end this weeks post by sharing the starfish story which is by Loren Eisely because I think it adds to the words of Margaret Mead nicely and speaks to the gratitude I have for the many ways so many of you have made a difference in my journey over the last 16 weeks.  

The Starfish Story

One day a man was walking along the beach when he noticed a boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean. Approaching the boy, he asked, “What are you doing?” The youth replied, “Throwing starfish back into the ocean. The surf is up and the tide is going out.  If I don’t throw them back, they’ll die.” “Son,” the man said, “don’t you realize there are miles and miles of beach  and hundreds of starfish? You can’t make a difference!” After listening politely,   the boy bent down, picked up another starfish, and threw it back into the surf.  Then, smiling at the man, he said “I made a difference for that one.”

When people come together as a community and do what they can to make a difference, it is amazing what can happens The starfish story is for anyone who believes that in this big world in which we live that they alone, can not make a difference-you can. It is also for all of you who have given $5, $25, $100 or whatever amount you were able to give. It is for my teammates with whom I have run who have made the miles a little more possible. It is for the volunteers who provided me with the hydration and more importantly the encouragement and their stories. It is for my family, friends and co-workers who have stepped up in so many ways to help support Dana Farber’s ultimate goal-a world without cancer- and in honor of a courageous boy named Josh who lost his life way to early to cancer. It is in your memory that I run and we will have raised $15,000 to support cancer research. That is the power of community and making a difference.

With gratitude,

Kerry D

Week 15: Don't Stop Believing

Week 15 of training is done. I cannot believe that we are now only three weeks away from the Boston Marathon. Over the last 15 weeks I have logged 429 training miles and we have raised $13, 961 with $13,771 posted to my fundraising page. There are still some checks that have not been posted so hopefully they will be reflected on my site soon. It is really amazing how far we have come in just 15 weeks. I am so filled with gratitude for all the family, friends and supporters who have really stepped up to support such an important effort-a world without cancer. Our collective success is only possible because of your support. If you have not had a chance to donate, there is still time. Each donation no matter how big or small brings us a step closer to a world without cancer. Let’s not only hope to see it as possible, let’s strive to see it as probable.  I would actually love to see us hit the $15,000 mark by marathon Monday. If you haven’t already figured it out, I love to push the capacity of what I think is possible. Will you continue to push with me?

Our Final Team Run

Yesterday I completed our final team training run on the Boston Marathon course. We ran 22 miles which was the longest distance that we run with the exception of the marathon on April 16^th. It was a particularly special run for the Dana Farber Marathon Challenge Team and for me personally. Our run yesterday was in honor of a very special boy-Matty Dubuc, whose 5 year angelversary is today-March 25^th. The Dubuc Family has a very special place in my heart and in many ways helped motivate me to want to run for the Dana Farber Marathon Challenge Team as a way to honor the memory of my dear friend Matt’s nephew Josh.  Yesterday the Dubuc family honored Matty by volunteering at one of our water stops which they have done on many of our weekend runs. I wore my “Team Matty” shirt with pride. As we approached the water stop that was at 6 and also 16 we were greeted by the Dubuc Family and other Team Matty friends (Berta and Steve-also former DFMC runners) with a huge picture of Matty with blue balloons and “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey was blaring on the speakers they brought. Here is the team that greeted us.

Team Matty (Sandy, Berta, Zach, Matty, Chris, Steve and Johnny taking the picture)

In week 13 I wrote about seeking inspiration. Well, the Dubuc Family is probably one of the most inspirational families and I am so blessed to know and learn from them. For many who know them, it is hard to even imagine the magnitude of their experience, their pain, their grief, and the loss that lingers with the empty space at their table, in family photos and in memories in the making. However, I am sure I am not alone, when I say that it is hard to think of the Dubuc Family and not immediately hear the song “Don’t Stop Believing” whether it is on the radio or not. Somehow in the midst of their enduring grief, they are filled with such a deep commitment to honoring Matty and each other by making the world a better place, a place without cancer. There are not words to describe the awe I experience when I think of the Dubuc Family and I thought of them a lot yesterday over the course of 22 miles. I will try to find words to express my awe inspired gratitude for such an amazing family.

First and foremost, the Dubuc Family teaches me that a better world and one without cancer is all of our responsibility and there are many ways you can help make this a reality. Did you know that donating one pint of blood can help up to 4 children? Well, I think it is safe to say that the entire UMass Lowell community and anyone that knows the Dubuc Family knows this because they host blood drives for Children’s Hospital throughout the year. So if money is tight, you can donate blood. Just be sure to take your vitamins because one of the top reasons many of us are turned away is low iron. If you cannot donate blood and cash is tight, you can also volunteer for organizations that support a world without cancer. In fact, Dana Farber is looking for volunteers for marathon weekend. If you are interested here is the link to the Dana Farber Marathon Challenge website http://www.kintera.org/htmlcontent.asp?cid=116910.

The Dubuc Family also teaches me the importance of honoring those we have loved and lost. We do this through events but also in the way in which we live our lives. It is by recognizing what really matters in life and while there may be times that we need to sweat the small stuff, most often we do not. Family is what matters.  If you want to follow their story check out the caringbridge website that Sandy keeps up at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/matty.

In many ways I have the Dubuc Family, and in particular Sandy, to thank for bringing me to Dana Farber. I have mentioned that this year’s marathon falls on the anniversary of my dear friend Matt’s nephew for whom I am running. Last year, I so wanted to honor his memory and while I was thinking about the marathon, it seemed like this enormous thing to do.  Last spring Sandy and I ran together and not only did I get to know an amazing and inspiring woman, I also had the privilege of hearing stories about her three amazing boys. All one needs to do is talk to a Dubuc and that which seems impossible suddenly becomes within reach. Needless to say, by early September I was a member of the Dana Farber Marathon Challenge 2012 Team committed to raising funds for such an important effort.

Honoring a Special Boy-Matty

As the Dubuc Family spends this weekend honoring Matty, Sandy asked for stories from people who knew Matty or stories of Matty that people found inspiring or that had touched their lives. The first story that came to my mind was a story that Sandy shared. Now, I recognize in the retelling I may have missed details but the meaning that I took from the story is what is important. I remember walking into work one day. Matty had just had surgery to have his arm amputated. I did not know Sandy all that well at the time, however I asked how Matty was doing. Again, I don’t remember all the details, but the story focused on Matty’s positive attitude. Sandy explained that while he had just lost his arm, his response was “I can still ride my bike one handed.”

Matty's picture that greeted us at the water stop and the speakers that played
Don't Stop Believing

 It was this spirit and the spirit of the Dubuc Family that really carried me through my run yesterday. When I felt tired, I thought of their relentless spirit and it really carried me over the hills. I was so aware that our running to support cancer research is incredibly important and it is so much more than a worthy cause or organization. We are running for real families whose lives are so impacted by such a devastating disease.  However, I must be honest as I felt inspired by their strength; I also became so aware that as tired as I felt I would be able to rest when I was done. My feet hurt, but the hurt would go away. I kept thinking that for the Dubuc family and my friend Matt’s family, the hurt may change over the years, but it does not go away. So while yesterday’s run honored a very special boy named Matty Dubuc (and the strength of his family), it was in honoring his memory that I was reminded how incredibly important our efforts are in supporting Dana Farber’s ultimate Goal- A world without cancer. Thank you to everyone who continues to support such important work and a very special thank you this week to the Dubuc Family-Sandy, Johnny, Christopher, Matty and Zachary- you are truly an amazing family. I am so blessed to know you! I hope that you continue to experience Matty’s presence in all you do! You are an inspiration to us all and you have taught me the power in the words "Don't Stop Believing."

With Gratitude,

Kerry D