Why I am Running the Boston Marathon on April 15, 2013 as a member of the Dana Farber Marathon Challenge Team: My Call to Action

"Be the change you wish to see." It is not just a sign on my bookshelf, for me it is a call to action. The decision to apply to run again with the Dana Farber Marathon Challenge Team was not a decision I made quickly or taken lightly. In fact, it was one with which I have wrestled for almost three months. If you are reading this and you know me well, then you know I spent the last 5 months or so struggling with Iliotibial Band Syndrome which greatly impacted my ability to run. I try not to complain too much because while it is very frustrating, we all know that there are a lot worse things with which one could be faced. I am happy to say that I believe I am now on the other side of it. I was able to participate in the Reach the Beach Relay in September which is a 200 mile team relay run from Cannon Mountain to Hampton Beach and then just a few weeks ago I completed the Newburyport Green Stride Half Marathon. I did not feel great at either event, although I made it through without too much difficulty. 

This brings me back to the sign on my bookshelf, “Be the change you wish to see.” It was a gift from a student I had several years back. One day as her graduation was approaching she stopped by my office with the gift. She said that she saw it in a store and immediately thought of me. For anyone that works in education, you know how precious these moments are. In  that very moment I was honored to know that many of our class discussions about the importance of being an agent of change resonated with her and even more so that she saw me as an agent of change. That alone is a call to continued action. Little does this student know that as much as I appreciated the gift and her thoughtfulness, I am more thankful that her gift has become a visual cue that reminds me within each day holds the opportunity to make a difference. I learn so much more from students than I could ever hope they would learn from me.

When I applied to run the Boston Marathon as a member of the Dana Farber Marathon Challenge Team in 2012, I really thought it would be a one time thing. At the time, I so wanted to do something to honor the memory of my dear friend Matt’s nephew Josh. I could not imagine the enormity of the pain Matt and his family was experiencing. When I realized that the marathon in 2012 would fall on the 2^nd anniversary of Josh’s passing, I felt as if it was something that I not only wanted to do, but that I was supposed to do. I am not sure if that makes any sense so I will just say it was a sort of gravitational pull of my conscience to participate even though at the time I applied, I had very little confidence that I could run 26.2 miles, never-mind raise the $4,000 minimum required.  Yet, the gravitational force that was pulling me to do it, seemed stronger than my own doubt. I guess it is here I experienced the essence of faith. I took the leap. I finished the marathon and with your help, we raised over $15,000 in the process to support cancer research.  

A year later and with many miles logged and lessons learned; I am so aware that for many the pain still lingers. It does not go away. The work towards Dana Farber’s ultimate goal-a world without cancer, still needs people to be the change they wish to see. While great progress continues to be made and our collective team raised over 4 million dollars last year, there is still so much to be done. I do not have to go far for these reminders. At work I eat lunch everyday with 4 women, all of whom have an immediate family member that had or has cancer. Two lost their sister at a young age to cancer. If I just step out of my office and walk through the main office I work in or to other areas of campus, I have many colleagues who have batted cancer, and others who have lost children, a spouse or family member to this dreadful disease. All of these reminders are in front of me everyday. We do not always talk about it. Often we just go about our day. However, this does not mean I am not aware of the close proximity of cancer to so many of us. In the time since I ran the marathon, a faculty member who was on a committee I am co-chairing was diagnosed and lost his battle with cancer and he is one of many. For those who are battling cancer, the fight does not end. For those who have lost a love one to cancer, the grieving does not end.

When I think about cancer, I am reminded of a brief conversation that I had with faculty member who had supported my run last year. I did not know him all that well, however when he learned I was running he sent a check to me in an envelope with a small note that read, “Good luck and thank you. I am a customer of Dana Farber and know first hand the work they do.” After the marathon I saw him and thanked him again, and in our conversation he explained that he has come to see that there are two categories of people, those who have cancer or have been impacted by it and those who just haven’t had it yet. His words were echoed later in a post on facebook of a dear friend who lost her son to cancer that read something like “before I was a cancer mom, I was a mom of three healthy boys.” While it is sometimes overwhelming to really see the realities of cancer all around us, it is something that we must do. We all want for a world without cancer and many of us feel powerless in this effort. My experience running with the Dana Farber Marathon Challenge team last year made me feel like I was doing what I could to support such an important effort. It was answering the “call to action” that sits on my bookshelf. I was “being the change that I wished to see,” at least in my small way.

For over three months I have wrestled with the decision of whether I would be able to run a marathon given all the challenges I faced with my IT band. I felt my body was weak and I really did not think I was up for the challenge. After successfully completing the Green Stride Half Marathon two weeks ago, even thought it was my slowest half marathon to date, I found my strong. I realized my body was not where it was a year ago but if I really worked at it and patiently and persistently logged the miles one by one, I could once again be a contributing member of the Dana Farber Marathon Challenge Team. In this moment, I heard a call to action. Below is a picture as I finished the Green Stride Half Marathon.

 It was in finding my strong that I also recognized that in spite of my injury, I was so very privileged. You see, I could choose to not apply and to not participate in the Dana Farber Marathon Challenge. Having the choice to not to take on the fight with cancer is truly a luxury and one many who deal with it on a daily basis would welcome. I could convince myself that there are other ways that I could “be the change I wish to see” and I would be dishonest if I didn’t admit to having many of these conversations with myself. However it is here I felt the gravitational pull of my conscience again. I do not have to face chemo treatments or take a loved one to chemo treatments. I get to take my nieces and nephew trick or treating and experience the joy of their excitement and wonder. I do not have to measure my life by three month check-up appointments. I get to have Thanksgiving Dinner without an empty seat at the table because of cancer. I am able to run and as difficult as fundraising can be, I can do my best.

So, yes I have applied and am officially accepted as a member of the Dana Farber Marathon Challenge 2013 Team. It is in honor of the many people around me who have dealt with cancer, who are dealing with cancer or who will learn they have to deal with cancer that I have decided to lace up my sneakers and give it another shot. It is also with deep gratitude and in recognition of the many privileges that I experience everyday that I will be logging over 500 training miles in my journey to the Boston Marathon on April 15, 2013. I hope you will join me and ‘be the change you wish to see.” Last year we were an incredible collective force supporting Dana Farber’s ultimate goal- a world without cancer. Let’s gear up. Game on!

With Gratitude,

Kerry D