Week 1: Remembering Through Action

This past week marked the official start of the Dana Farber Marathon Challenge Team 2013 training and as part of my training routine, I also write a weekly blog. If you are reading this, you may know that already. I had planned on writing after our first team run yesterday, however I found myself at a loss for words trapped in the space of my own pause as I wrestled with the question that so many in our nation and around the world are also asking, “why?” As I sit to write today, my thoughts are with the families in Newtown, CT and with a nation that grieves. I am not sure I can stop asking the question, why? Although, I am not sure there is really a helpful answer to that question or one that could ever make any sense of such a tragedy. There will of course be the too easy answer and that is to accept it as simply an act of evil which leaves us all powerless and not responsible. As I ran with my teammates yesterday on our first group run, it became clear to me that I am going to choose to ask what I believe is the more difficult question and that is- what can I/we do to help prevent this from happening again?

As we know on Friday, December 14^th the unimaginable happened. Innocence was shattered as we watched what could barely even be imagined as a horrifying episode of Criminal Minds. Only this was not a scene crafted in the mind of a crime writer and one from which we could turn our head from the television, it was actually taking place in Newtown, CT- a town which could be Anytown, USA. Many of us were into our daily routines as we were alerted to the breaking news of a school shooting. We watched in disbelief as moms and dads, aunts and uncles, and grandparents were racing to an elementary school only to hope that they would find their children alive. This was truly the unimaginable. We quickly learned it was yet another school shooting and later we discovered the majority of the victims were 5 and 6 year olds. How could this be? All I could picture were my nieces who are in kindergarten and third grade. How could this be? There were not words to describe or answers to be found that could make any sense out of this tragedy.

As I drove to our team run in Lexington, MA on Saturday morning I was a bit nervous. I had been sick with bronchitis most of the week and while I probably should not have taken on the 10 mile run, it just seemed what I needed to do. I found myself thinking about all the tragedies in this world. As I thought about the families in Newtown, CT, I also thought about all the children with cancer and those who have lost their battle with cancer for whom many of us run. At this moment I thought of a facebook post from a dear friend who lost her son to cancer when he was in the first grade. On Friday, her facebook post read “at least I got to say goodbye to ________. My heart goes out to the families of Newtown, CT who didn’t get that chance.” Again, I am reminded at the unimaginable. Here is someone who had to say goodbye to her son when he was in first grade and lost his life to cancer and in this moment and tragedy she was recognizing the enormous grief of the families who just lost their children. She felt lucky because she got to say goodbye. As I continued on my drive, I really felt the shift from why school shootings? Why cancer? To thinking we need to do more…a lot more.

Over the last two days I have watched many friends post about the tragedy. I have witnessed the 24 hour news cycle and the way it can shape the story and bring the unimaginable into our living rooms. I have witnessed how the media gives life to both the evil behind the violence as well as the heroic acts of teachers and educators who in the face of such evil exemplify the triumph of selfless sacrifice and a greater good. I have witnessed a call for compassion from a victim’s father who in the midst of his grief found it in his heart to think of the shooters family and imagine how difficult this is for them in their own grief. Wow! I have witnessed many who have expressed gratitude for what they have and the reminder to hug those you love tighter. I have witnessed a number of friends who call others to action about the importance of being kind and to recognize the role we all play in making this a better world through our interactions with others. I have also witnessed arguments about gun control and 2^nd amendment rights. I have witnessed disagreement about whether this is the time to act or a time to allow for grief and healing.

I must be really honest. I think it is our collective responsibility to make this world a better place and that responsibility begins now. It is not something that we can take lightly or put off until tomorrow. It is not just a sound bite, a meme or a facebook post that quickly goes viral. It is cultivating a deep commitment to translate our thoughts and reactions to such a tragedy into actions.  I share the belief of many that each and every one of us contributes to making the world a more peaceful place by the way we enter each day, the way we interact with those who we come in contact, and our willingness to at times to compromise what we consider our freedoms and rights for the overall protection and safety of others. Our greatest moments as a community, a country and as a nation should not only be evident in our immediate response to tragedies but in our sustaining efforts to prevent them.

Guns kill. I cannot even pause and give consideration to the argument for why assault riffles should be accessible to anyone. Guns kill and if we want to live in a peaceful world, my belief is that we must get rid of the guns. I also realize that it is not a simple solution and guns are only one piece of a much larger discussion. We also need to give great attention and support to mental health in this country. Whether you agree with me or disagree with me, I believe the best way to honor the memory of those lost is to collectively wrestle with these challenging issues and take action to address them. We are likely to agree on that. It is not responsible as an educated nation to linger in a state of inaction and powerlessness. Grieving and healing will not stop if our nation’s leaders take action and I am not sure why we see these as sequential steps in a response to such a tragedy. It is not a knee jerk reaction to call for action, it is a responsible one.

While this blog aims to document my training and thinking as it relates to Dana Farber and my journey towards the Boston Marathon, the tragedy in Newtown, CT has been the focus on my thinking as we begin our training. Also, running as a member of the Dana Farber Team is a constant reminder to me of the importance of remembering and honoring through action. Tragedies do happen and we cannot always prevent them. However, we must not only dream the day and a world, in which these tragedies do not exist, we must work relentlessly to make that dream a reality. It is a choice to take responsibility for our world and we can make a difference but we must make that choice. We honor and remember through action. It is a time to choose action.

With Gratitude,

Kerry D