Week 14: Cancer is a Family Journey

This week the Dana Farber Marathon Challenge Team geared up for our longest and last team training run of the season. Most of our teammates would be running 20-22 miles. The group I was running with opted for the 22 miles. We would start our journey at Boston College and run the course in reverse. It would be 11 miles out to Natick and then we would turn and trace our journey back to meet the hills of Newton with tired legs. This would be great preparation for Marathon Monday, and would hopefully give the confidence that many of us needed after a challenging training season in New England.

The Back of My Team Matty Shirt "Don't Stop Believing" and my Phil Riley Patch

 Getting Started, Gaining Perspective, and Getting Inspired

I have shared that each week before our long run, the team gathers and we sign banners for people that are being treated for cancer and to also listen to the Barr Impact Statements (this is the research for which we are raising funds). This week was different. My good friend Sandy, who is actually the person that got me connected with the Dana Farber Marathon Challenge Team, would be giving the inspirational talk to kick off our run. Sandy is the proud mom of three boys; Chris, Matty, and Zach. On March 25, 2007, Matty lost his battle with cancer. As Sandy reminds us, cancer is family disease. While many of us run with special people in mind, the family members are also a source of inspiration, they too have endured and continue to endure so much. In 2008, Sandy and her husband Johnny ran with Dana Farber to honor Matty's memory. Sandy, Johnny and their sons Chris and Zach continue to volunteer at water stops for many of our team runs. This weekend’s run was in honor of Matty Dubuc’s angel anniversary.  Matty and the entire Dubuc Family provided inspiration for the entire Dana Farber Marathon Challenge team as well as for thousands of other runners who were greeted with the most amazing water stop. As we approached you could hear “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey brining you towards them. There were beautiful posters of Matty, SpongeBob balloons, peeps, gummy bears, water, Gatorade, and inspirational stories to remind us why we are running.

As Sandy spoke, my eyes filled up. This season has certainly not been easy for training. However, as I listened to Sandy, I no longer worried about the challenges of training  or the 22 miles which I was about to run. My focus was on the many families and loved ones I know who have been impacted by cancer and the importance of what we are doing- running to raise funds in support of a world without cancer. I thought about the Dubuc’s. I thought about my dear friend Matt and his nephew for whom I run in his memory. I thought of so many friends and loved ones. I thought of too many people which reinforced how important the work at Dana Farber is.  

Team Matty water stop: All the inspiration needed

 The Dubuc Family: Inspiring Others through Story and Action

Rather than recapping this weeks challenges and lessons learned, I wanted to share with you the words Sandy shared because in her words were both the inspiration and lessons learned for this week and so many more.  Her talk can be found on Matty’s Caring Bridges website at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/matty. I would encourage you to check out his site for the story of a truly inspirational family.

“Good morning! My name is Sandy and you may have seen myself and/or my husband, John and oldest son, Chris, at water stops throughout your training.

This is my son, Matty (poster of Matty was displayed next to me). Matty was diagnosed with liver cancer when he was 4 years old. Matty endured so much throughout his 3 year battle, which included chemo, radiation, blood transfusions, a liver transplant, 3 lung surgeries, 2 brain surgeries and his left arm was amputated 5 months before he passed away. 

Jan asked me to say a few words this morning because since Johnny and I ran with the team, the year after Matty passed, DFMC has continued to honor Matty on this weekend's training run, with his angelversary being on Monday. 

I just want to redirect your inspirational focus for today's run. Every mile you log, I'm sure that you have an inspiration behind it. I'm guessing that the majority, if not all of you, are running for someone who's been touched by cancer. And because every run is mostly likely about that person, for today's run, I'd really love for you to dedicate it to the family members of that person, most especially, to the siblings. 

I have three boys. Chris is my oldest, Matty, then Zachary, my youngest. Chris was only 6 years old when Matty was diagnosed and Zach was just 12 days old. Although, Chris and Zach never went bald, had a port accessed or received a blood transfusion, they, too, suffered greatly. I always say that cancer is a family journey because it absolutely takes a toll on each family member.
In our family, Chris and Zach missed out on so much. They grew up too fast, they've seen too much and they've learned life's hardest lesson at too young of an age. I know that I'm not the only one who smiles through the pain or who's heart aches with unimaginable pain. 

I am so very proud of ALL 3 of my boys. And so, today, I ask you to please think about my boys and the strength it takes for them, my husband and I, just to get up each and every morning to acknowledge yet, another day, without Matty. 

I want to thank all of you for doing your part in helping to imagine a world without cancer. On a personal note, I want to give a big thanks to Steve Poirier, who's running again this year for Matty. And I think Steve has something very special to ask Chris. 

At that point, Steve took over and thanked Chris for all he's doing to help give back at such a young age! Steve then asked if Chris would jump in at mile 25 (the Jimmy Fund cheering section where will be) of the marathon and finish the marathon with him. Chris was/is thrilled to do so!” 

With the inspiration of Sandy and the entire Dubuc Family, I (like many of my teammates) made it the 22 miles. I am not sure I would have made it up over the hills without carry them in my heart. I cannot even begin to imagine how hard it has been and continues to be for them or for so many people I know who have or have had a loved one battle cancer. Running a marathon is in no way a comparison to this. I am not sure anything could compare to this. However, perspective is a wonderful thing. Especially when it is families like the Dubuc’s for whom we run. What I said over and over in my head when I felt tired was simply “keep putting one step in from of the other. Imagine the strength that it takes for the families for whom you run. This is NOTHING compared to that. Suck it up. Right foot, left foot, breathe. Repeat.” I did this for 3 hours and 45 minutes. I thank the Dubuc’s for their inspiration. They continue to make me want to do more. Running for DFMC is just one of the ways I can do more.

Fundraising Update:
We are now 21 days away from the marathon. I am excited to report that I hit my initial fundraising goal of $10,000. However, with three weeks left until the marathon, in the spirit of pushing capacity, and because families like the Dubuc’s continue to show us just how much we can do when we commit to making the world a better place, I have increased my goal to $13,100. As of today I have $10,352.45 posted to my fundraising page. One step at a time. One dollar at a time, we will get there.

DFMC 2013

Team DFMC 2013

 The pictures above were taken after logging 22 miles. This is what running with a purpose looks like. Smiles all around. Together, we can make a difference.  Thank you for your continued support and a very special thank you to the entire Dubuc Family.

With Gratitude, Kerry D

  

Week 13: Embrace the Flaw

It is hard to believe we are now just about 1 month away from the 2013 Boston Marathon. I am not sure why the passage of time always surprises me. As I sit to write what I had hoped would be a weekly blog which has more realistically become a whenever I can get the time blog, the sky is blue and there are birds chipping outside. The air is cold and the promise of spring is in the air.  However, the weather forecast predicts another snowstorm for early in the week. Needless to say this training season has been challenging for many. As New Englanders we adjust. Today we may think spring and on Tuesday we will reach for our shovels. Nature does not always deliver on our terms and while we dream of the perfect day, we adjust to the conditions of the day, the week or the season. We embrace the flaw and as a good friend of mine always says “we do our best and forget the rest.” Or so we strive.

Taking a break for a quick photo before hitting Heartbreak hill during Saturday's training run with Steve and Elaine

 Fundraising Update

 I like to start with a fundraising update because this is why I am logging the many miles. I run to honor my friend Matt’s nephew Josh and so many others who I have come to learn of their stories and in support Dana Farber’s ultimate goal of a world without cancer. As of today, $9,447.45 has been posted to my fundraising page. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! This is $545 more than when I did my last blog post three weeks ago and this is only $552.55 away from my initial goal of $10,000. My hope is to hit $10,000 within the next week or so and then in the spirit of pushing capacity raise it once again. Last year we raised $15,585 and if the truth be told, I would like to at least hit $13,100. In all honesty, this has been a tough season on all fronts and I have not been as good this year at sending out fundraising letters and reminders. So stay tuned, I will be sending out more requests in the upcoming weeks. I do believe we can keep pushing. After all, a world without cancer is only possible if we continue to work to make it happen. Research requires money. It is that simple.  

Embrace the Flaw

 Embrace the flaw. These are three simple words and yet are so hard for many of us to do. This training season has given me many opportunities to practice these three simple words through action. The idea that perfection is found in imperfection is a concept that I appreciate, but when challenged to walk the talk, it is not always so easy. I am getting better at it.  This is not just a challenge in training for a marathon; it is a challenge for me in my everyday life. Like the weather in New England, life is often filled with uncertainty and as much as we try to anticipate and plan for the unexpected, reality reminds us that we are not always in control even if we think we are or want to be with all of our might.  Even when we do all we can to prepare, sometimes life throws us the unexpected. We are sometimes quick to say “this is unfair” and we find ourselves stuck or we accept that the conditions are not always on our terms and struggle with the challenges of the unexpected by embracing the flaw. We learn to see that perfection actually exists in the midst of imperfection.

When you run for the Dana Farber Marathon Challenge Team you have the added reminder and perspective that most challenges we face in training and in our day-to-day lives pales in comparison to the many challenges cancer patients and their families face who on a daily basis experience just how unfair life can be. They do not need the reminder. They live it every day.  This perspective has really helped me to embrace the flaw this season. Perhaps it is because so many of us are running to honor those who lost their battle and for the many patients and their families who continue to fight that makes even the most imperfect days seem perfect. You see, we have the day and that is a blessing in itself. I have found that recognizing the powerful purpose of our efforts makes having to figure out how to get in your long runs after 8-10 inches of snow has fallen, having to deal with fighting the flu and being sick, pulling muscles, experiencing fatigue or any other challenges that we face, are just part of the journey.

 This training season has been anything but perfect. This winter brought the challenge of snow fall on many weekends which made outdoor running in New England more than challenging. However, we adjusted. We embraced the flaw and found our way to treadmills.  Like many of my teammates, I also had bronchitis and the flu which has made the idea of a perfect feel good run a distant memory or a dream. However, we adjust. We learn to listen to our bodies and balance the need to rest and to get back at logging the miles even when we may not feel up to it. We accept that most runs are not perfect. Sometimes adjusting the expectation of a perfect run actually makes room for the imperfect run to feel “as good as it gets” and that is enough to have the run end with a smile because in spite of the challenges, the miles were logged. I also started a new job that on many days demands more hours than there are in the day. I have accepted the fact that there will be days that I do not get the runs that I should and that I have not done as much as I would like to for fundraising. I have done what I can and this is ok. For me, embracing the flaw is learning to see what is accomplished in spite of the challenges and the unexpected rather than focusing on what may not have been achieved because things didn't go exactly as planned.

This past week I logged an 18 mile run with my DFMC teammates on the Boston Marathon course. While many of us talked about the realities of this season’s challenges and how this is testing our confidence, the excitement that we all feel when we come together coupled with the encouragement we feel from our many supporters is what makes the impossible seem possible. In a months time we will be lining up in Hopkinton to make the 26.2 mile trek to Boston. Running for a world without cancer makes one strong in spirit, even when the conditions are less than ideal. We embrace the flaw and then put one foot in front of the other and mile by mile dollar by dollar we move towards our goal. The idea of a perfect run or ideal training season is more about perspective than reality. I am once again reminded of the words of Pat Summit. “It is what it is, but it will be what you make it.” Cancer is ruthless disease that knows no bounds. It is what it is. However, as we log our miles and raise funds even when it is imperfect, we are holding on to the hope that the world one day will be “what we make it”- a world without cancer.

If you have not had a chance to make a donation, I would ask that you consider doing so. If we want a world without cancer, we have to be willing to do what we can to make that happen. Every donation makes a difference. If it is $5, $50 or $500, it all adds together to fund innovative research that is driven by a desire to make a world without cancer a reality. Research requires funds, it is that simple.

With gratitude,

Kerry D