Week 20: Reflections on the Boston Marathon 2012 as a Member of the Dana Farber Marathon Challenge Team

I spent 18 weeks training and fundraising with one specific focus-running the 2012 Boston Marathon in an effort to honor a little boy named Josh by raising funds to support Dana Farber’s ultimate goal- a world without cancer. I entered this challenge as one person, but very quickly I realized I was part of this amazing team of over 500 runners and many volunteers and supporters.  I knew this was an enormous undertaking and as the weeks passed and I participated in our weekly team runs, I learned of so many others who have been personally touched by cancer. I also found that as people learned about my effort, they would share their personal stories with me.  This was a constantly reminded of the importance of our collective effort. As the weekend before the marathon approached, I had no idea just how intense of an experience this would be and the many ways it would forever change me.

Marathon Weekend Begins with the BAA Warnings

It all began when the weather reports were predicting above average temperatures ranging anywhere from the 80’s to the 90’s. Quite honestly, this was not a major concern for me at first because I actually do not mind warmer temperatures. Although, I have never run a marathon in these predicted temperatures so I did listen to the many warnings which the Boston Athletic Associate began sending out as the marathon was approaching. The warnings the sent to all runners included the following:

§The weather conditions will involve an increased element of risk to all participants due to the heat.  Only the fittest runners should consider participating.  
§We are now making the recommendation that if you are not highly fit, you should NOT run this race.
§ Inexperienced marathoners should not run.
§Those who have only trained in a cooler climate should also not run.
§Those who decide to run should take significant precautions.  Run at a slower pace and maintain hydration.  Take frequent walk breaks.  This is not a day to run a personal best.  Speed can kill.
§For the overwhelming major of those who have entered, you should adopt the attitude that THIS IS NOT A RACE.

Wow! These warnings were pretty serious and had a lot of people worried. In fact over 4,500 runners decide not to participate and deferred their participation to next year. For me, it was never a question of if I would still run. I would be cautious but I was still not overly concerned. I would simply run slow and listen to my body. This is something I learned a lot about during training. I also would be sure to hydrate, use GU and other things to keep me feeling ok. I also would need to make major adjustments to my expectations as it related to time. My training had me prepared to run in approximately 4 hours and 15 minutes and that was adding in a bit of time to be sure I walked swiftly through water stops. However, all of the experts were saying that we could expect to add up to an hour onto our projected times. I was not thrilled with this, especially after training so much. Who would be? However, I listened. It was more important to me to run smart and enjoy the experience than to push for a time and end up in a medical tent. After all, I did not begin this journey wanting to run a marathon in a particular time. I was running to honor a little boy named Josh by raising money for Dana Farber-this had nothing to do with how long it would take me. So I kept my focus on the why I was running as opposed to all the things that I had no control over such as the weather.

The EXPO

I had planned to go to the Expo to pick up my number on Saturday. This was after the advice of a friend who has run many marathons. She had suggested going on Saturday so I would be able to enjoy it and this would leave Sunday as a rest day so I could be off my feet. This was excellent advice. It was arriving at the EXPO that I think I realized what a major event I was participating in. It was amazing to drive into Boston and to feel the energy that seemed to have taken over the entire city. I arrived at the Expo Center and was thrilled to find parking right away. I was meeting my friend from college, Annie, who was also running. There were so many people. I am not sure why this surprised me. I knew that there were 27,000 people registered to run. I guess I just never really thought about what 27,000 people looked like or what it would mean to organize for 27,000 people and their families to arrive in a city and to pick up their race packets. The organization was unbelievable. As I waited for Annie, I just watched all the people who were carrying orange bags. These were the Boston Athletic Association Bags that runners would use to put their belongings in at the starting line so they could be brought to the finish line. All of these people had spent the last several months or more training to run Boston and the BAA organized everything. Wow, is really all I can say. Below is a picture of the number pick up.

I think the highlight of the Expo for me was getting to meet and have my picture taking with Team Hoyt-Dick and his son Rick. If you are not familiar with their story I would suggest you check it out. Here is a link to Team Hoyt’s website http://www.teamhoyt.com/. If you are seeking inspiration you will surely find it! I know just having the few moments I had with them made any concerns of the heat seem like a challenge but one we would conquer.

The Dana Farber Marathon Challenge Pasta Dinner

The Dana Farber Marathon Challenge Team hosts a pasta dinner as a way to bring the team together to prepare for the challenge in front of us. Very early on first time runners were told this was an event that should not be missed. I was very excited because my dear friend Matt was flying in to see the marathon. I was running in memory of his nephew Josh. My friend Annie who was also running would attend. I was not prepared for just how intense this experience would be. When we arrived at the Marriot Copley and took the escalators to the floor where the pasta dinner was being held, we saw the red shirts everywhere. These were the Dana Farber volunteer shirts. It was just another reminder of how many people are collectively working to support this effort and Dana Farber’s ultimate goal-a world without cancer. Then as we got off the escalator and walked down the hall the walls were filled with “In Honor of Cards.” These were cards that all the runners filled out and had the names of people for whom they were running. My nieces Marlee and Rori decorated my “In Honor of Cards.” They decorated one for Josh and they also decorated one for anyone who listed a name on my fundraising page.

It was enough to stop you. “How could there be so many cards?” I thought to myself. There are just so many. I also kept thinking to myself that while this was “so many” this was only the people who were connected in some way to our 500 team members. I would equate the overwhelming feeling to that I experienced when standing in front of the Vietnam Memorial when you realized that each name represents a person and all the people who love them. My eyes began to fill with tears. I was so glad I was doing this, but in this moment I know longer could tolerate listening to anyone else talking about how they were not going to make their goal pace because of the heat. This seemed like such a small thing to deal with given the enormity of what so many people who were in our presence deal with daily.

We found many of the “In Honor of Cards” that my nieces made and located Josh’s. Then we continue to walk towards the banquet hall. Here we were greeted with poster size pictures of the children who are patient partners with runners. These are children that are currently undergoing treatment and there were also many children who had posters that were once patient partners who lost their battle with cancer and had a runner running in their memory. Matt and I just looked down the long hallway and both had tears in our eyes. There were just so many. One is too many. This is why I was running. Many of these children and their families would be at Mile 25 to cheer us on as we entered our last 1.2 miles of the marathon. It is all the inspiration one needs.

As we entered the banquet room I could not believe how many people were there. I guess with 500 runners and their families I should have expected this. I was very excited to connect with some of my teammates that I had met either through our team runs or through Daily Mile (Linn, Kevin, Megan, Betti, Kate, Karen, Heather and many others). So many of these people I did not know when this all started had become such an important part of my training and inspiration. One of my teammates-Dennis Moran who has been fundraising for Dana Farber for 18 years provided an additional dose of inspiration. Here is a quick video about his journey. This was played at the dinner. Again, I was reminded that while we needed to be cautious of the challenges with the heat, we were running for such a greater purpose- supporting Dana Farber’s Ultimate goal- a world without cancer. In many ways, having arrived ready to run and having raised all the money we had was the larger victory.

When dinner was over, it was time to focus on getting a good night sleep and making sure everything was ready to go for an early morning departure from Boston. Annie, Matt and I returned to the Park Plaza where we were staying. Once again, I was not prepared for the range of emotions I would experience. When we arrived back at the hotel, Matt had a letter from his sister (Josh’s mom) for me. It was a beautiful letter and again a reminder of the reasons that I was running. I found an extra zip lock bag so I could put the letter in it and carry it with me as I made the trek from Hopkinton to Boston. I was so aware that while within 24 hours I would be finished the Boston Marathon, yet when the 24 hours is over and we have completed the Marathon, so many families pain and struggle with cancer would continue.  I had learned so much about cancer, the many people who have been impacted by it and the amazing research that is happening at Dana Farber, and I found myself hearing the words of Robert Frost that echoed in my mind as I started this journey, “and miles to go before I sleep.” We are making great strides, but we still have a long way to go.

Monday April 16, 2012 Josh’s 2^nd Anniversary and Boston Marathon 2012

I began my day with a facebook post about why I was running. Today I honor a boy named Josh. I also asked people to remember or think of someone who had been impacted by cancer. In hind sight, while my intent was good, anyone who has been impacted does not need a reminder to think of the impact of cancer. They live with the reminders everyday. Here I was reminded of the luxury that comes with being able to think of Cancer or any other disease as a “cause” that needs funding as opposed to a “reality” that one lives with daily. Again, I was reminded of the importance of our collective efforts because cancer is so much more than a cause, it is a reality for so many.

Imagine getting 20,000 people to one destination within several hours. Annie and I made our way to busses as we walked with crowds of runners. It was amazing how 30 plus busses would pull up at a time and runners would be loaded onto them. Once they were full, another 30 or so busses would pull up. Wow! Again I was amazed at the organization required for such an event. The ride took about 45 minutes or so. We were dropped of at Athletes Village. Here runners from all over were hydrating and getting ready to run Boston! This is where Annie and I would part ways. I needed to make my way to the Dana Farber Meeting area. This is when I realized I did not write down where it was. Leave it to me to forget such an important detail. Lucky for me, I quickly spotted a Dana Farber shirt and this teammate had a map in hand. Here name was Marlo and I was very fortunate to have found her. We both made our way to the Dana Farber Meeting area just in time for the team picture. This was the first time that all team members were present. It was an amazing feeling to be part of a sea of Dana farber team shirts who were all running for such an important effort. See team picture below.

The Boston Marathon 2012-Learning to Listen

Throughout my training, I organized my weekly blogs around a theme or idea that stuck out. As I think about the actual running of the Marathon, one thing really stuck out to me and that is learning to listen. Now throughout the race this took many forms for me. At the very beginning it was simply learning to listen to the experts and their advice. We needed to make major adjustments to our race plans. While this was more challenging for some, listening to those who are experienced is important. Listening to your self is also important. While for me, it was never a question of whether I should run, many runners had to make a difficult choice to not run. This could not have been easy to do. Anyone who has trained for a marathon knows the many hours, the many miles and the many sacrifices that are required to be prepared for the one race day. However, for many this choice was about being smart. In cooler temperatures runners who were not feeling 100% could have pushed through with less risk. The added challenges due to temperature would put many at risk as evidenced by the 2500 that ended up in medical tents and the many that were transported to hospitals. I honor the courage of the many runners that had to make the diffcult decision tnot to run or stop running. The smart decision is often the hardest to make.

I also found it incredibly helpful to listen to the voices of supporters and this include those we knew and those we did not know. It was amazing how motivating it was to hear a supporter or a stranger call out and say “go Kerry, you can do this!” or “Kerry, you look strong.” As someone who often runs with headphones, I was amazed at how much feeling connected to those around me helped. Again, I will add the importance of listening to experts as well as your self. As we ran through each water stop, I heard in my head the voices of many “stay hydrated.” As my teammates and I ran through each water stop we were sure to stay hydrated and this certainly helped. It is easy to get caught up in the excitement and to not feel thirsty early on. We made sure we drank at every water stop. It was so wonderful to see friends and family along the way. Just knowing that you were there helped to pull us along.

Part of listening to myself was reframing what I needed to hear. This was regulating my own self talk. For example, early on my teammates and I reminded each other to stay slow and steady. We also kept telling each other that while we trained and were capable of going faster that the heat was outside of our control and that we were really just going to take in the experience. After all we were running for Dana Farber which has been such an honor. It was not about our time, but our effort to support a world without cancer. This was not just about reframing, it was also about acceptance. I was reminded that we may dream of running in ideal conditions and we can train and prepare to the best of our ability, but in the final hour we have no control over what conditions will exist on any given day. Sounds a lot like life. We also needed to give ourselves permission to incorporate walk breaks. Sometimes we know what we need to do, yet it is hard to surrender to that. Below is a picture of me with my two teammates Heather and Linn. I am so grateful to both of them for our many training runs, for running the majority of the marathon together, and most importantly for our friendships that emerged from our shared experience.

Finishing with Gratitude

My journey to the marathon was many things. Easy was not one of them. However, I am not one that is drawn to easy so that suited me just fine. Throughout this journey I began my blog posts with a fundraising update and with gratitude for the many of you that have supported our collective effort. I find it most fitting to end this post with gratitude.  Below is a picture of family and friends who were there as we passed through Welleseley and then again when I turned the corner onto Boylston Street and crossed the finish line. Thank you! I know it was a hot day for spectators too! Thank you to the many other friends and family who were out there that I did not capture in a picture! You made such a difference!


Over the past 18 weeks we raised over $15,000 to support a world without cancer. This would not have been possible without the many people who made contributions, offered words of encouragement, volunteered their time at group runs, and shared their personal experiences that kept me going when I most needed a little boost. I am so filled with gratitude for all that you have done to not only dream a better world but to take action to see that one day we do live in a world without cancer. A world without cancer does not happen over night. Like running a marathon, or raising over $15,000 to support cancer research, It happens one mile and one donation at a time. Together we will get there. Thank you for being a part of this important effort and sharing this journey with me!

With Gratitude,

Kerry D