My thinking this week all focused around the race that I will be running tomorrow. It is the Derry, NH Boston Prep 16 Miller. I signed up for it early on because I was told it was a great way to prepare for the marathon. I am also someone who works well with a combination of short term and long term goals so thought it was a great idea. Well, then a few weeks after signing up I was talking to a friend who runs very competitively and also happens to live in Derry, NH. I happened to mention that I signed up for this race and her response was, “Oh really, that is a very difficult course.” I paused a moment and said, “Well I am trouble if you think it is difficult.” So needless to say that over the last weeks this preparation race was becoming this major challenge in front of me. Quite honestly, I was scared of the hills. I will include a snap shot below of the course so you can appreciate my fear. Did I mention this is a 16 mile race?
I like to consider myself a pretty mentally tough person and one who has a healthy relationship with fear. In fact, I often repeat the words of Eleanor Roosevelt “We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.” So yes, I have been looking at this picture a lot this week and saying “hello, moderately challenging 16 mile hilly course. I am looking you in the face and will come at you one step at a time this Sunday.” Fear is not something that stops me in my tracks when it is connected to a goal. It is something that calls to me like an invitation awaiting an answer, looming patiently and present in my every moment.
It is no surprise that with this race’s pending challenge coupled with fear’s invitation, my mind was working on overtime to prepare me for something that I knew I WOULD do, but was not completely sure HOW I WOULD do with it. My thinking kept bringing me to my core belief that so much in life can be influenced by our perspective and the lens through which we choose to see things. This is probably no surprise to anyone reading this who knows me. I have been called a “snow globe” or “positive Patty.” However, there are several quick stories that I will share that helped bring this belief alive for me this week in the context of my day-to-day life. Not all these stories happened this week, but collectively they have shaped my outlook and helped me to re-frame my nervousness about the challenge that awaits me.
One Step at a Time
“One step at a time,” is something I always say. It is always easier to break larger things into small attainable steps. I do this in my personal and professional life, and I most definitely do this in running. When the miles seem too many, I try to think I am not running 16 miles, I am running five 5K races. This makes it more manageable. Or perhaps I am running one mile at a time, or as one song plays on my IPod. When the small step is attained I simply do it again.
Several years ago, a woman came into my office. I work at a University and this woman was the mom of a student who was having difficulty. To be honest, I do not remember the entire story of why she was in my office, but I remember the story she told me that day because it has stayed with me and given me the perspective I need on many days. She told me the story of when she was raising her children and they always wanted to do everything so fast. They would get disappointed when they could not do something on their first try. In an effort to help them see that some things take time, she would walk them to the bottom of the stair case in their house. Standing by there side, she would ask them to jump to the top stair. She explained that they would then look at her as if she were crazy. They would respond, “Mommy, I cannot jump to the top step, it is too far.” Then she would say, “Ok, do you think you can jump up to the next step?” The kids would say, “Yes” and jump up onto the next stair. She would continue with this until they reached the top. When they got to the top, she would explain to them “When you are at the bottom looking up, it may seem impossible. However, if you take one step at a time, before you know it you are at the top.”
I loved this story and from the first telling, I knew it would be a keeper for me. However, what made the story more powerful is that when the mom retold the story to me, her son was now a young adult. The mom had shared that when she was having a difficult time with things in her life, her son returned the lesson and walked her to the bottom of the stairs and said, “mom, let’s just jump one step at a time.” So, while I do not remember this woman’s name, I am reminded of the power of story because her story has resurfaced in my memory this week as I look at what appears to be a lot of stairs in front of me. I am going to take them one at a time.
“It is not Fear, but Excitement”
This is my second story and it is really a short one. I was at an Open House for work and I happened to be taking to a woman who has spent the last year or so running quite a bit. We often talk about the spiritual side of running. She really got into running after losing her husband who was a runner. In many ways, I believe running has been a way for her to connect with her soul mate who no longer resides here with us on earth. This is one amazing woman and she teaches me a lot about perspective. She is someone who embodies Eleanor Roosevelt words of looking fear in the face. Or the words of her husband, partner and soul mate, “just don’t stop.”
I was telling her about the race I had this weekend and that I would be glad when it was over because I had heard it was a really tough course and that I was afraid. She very quickly told me that maybe I was just excited. She shared that before races she always gets nervous and that instead of letting the nervousness take over, she simply tells herself that she is excited. So, I thanked her for reminding me that it is all perspective. I am afraid of the hills on Sunday, but I am going to reframe it as I am simply excited about the hills. When I run tomorrow, I will certainly be thinking of this friend of mine and her words of wisdom! Thank you, you know who you are.
“I like to think I manufacture my own energy”
Last summer a gentleman approached me at the end of spin class. He was an older gentleman who appeared to be in his late 80’s or early 90’s. However, I must admit, I never asked him his age. At the gym we were just two athletes so for me, it never seemed important to ask. At the end of class he came up to me and said “you look like you might play tennis. Would you like to play with me some time?” I had not played in years but I said, “Sure.” After playing a few times, we began to play 3 times per week at 6am. His spirit and energy was contagious. He had such an amazing outlook on life. He would spin, play tennis with whoever was around to play, and then he would lift weights. He was someone that seemed to have more energy than most.
One day when we were playing tennis after a spin class, I asked him, “Where do you get your energy?” He did not have to think about it. He smiled and responded “Well Kerry, I like to think I manufacture it.” I was so taken by this one sentence. Most of us think of energy as something we have or we don’t have on any particular day. However, this amazing man who seems to always have so much of it looks at it differently. He sees himself as the manufacturer of his own energy. So, tomorrow when the hills seem bigger than I am, I am going to repeat his words “I like to think I manufacture my own energy.” I will envision myself getting stronger with each step, not more tired. I will also see each sip of water as a refueling and also a method to manufacture more energy.
“You cannot decide that you don’t have cancer because the weather is bad.”
My last short story of the day will revolve around the idea that sometimes we have to just do what is in front of us, regardless of the conditions. Today, I did not participate in the Dana Farber Team run as a runner. Today I was a volunteer. I have the race tomorrow and while it may have been a good idea to just rest, but I wanted to take the opportunity to volunteer for the team. I am a firm believer that all members of a team play an important role and I am very appreciative of those who stand outside in all sorts of weather to support us. So I wanted to do my part, even if it was going to be 17 degrees and snowing out. So today, I was assigned to water/Gatorade stop 3 which was at mile 8. I worked with a wonderful volunteer named Patrick and really enjoyed getting to know him and his story. I look forward to many more team runs and am glad to have made another friend.
All the runners I saw today gave me great perspective. They were all out there running in what at times appeared to be blizzard like conditions. Snow was falling swiftly and the roads had yet to be plowed. Each step they took was challenging. Yet, as each arrived at the water stop they had smiles on their frozen faces. They were all filled with such gratitude for us being out there and not one complained. Talk about possibility and perspective personified. Yes, they were all cold, tired, wet and were dreaming of having these miles done. However, when I told them how great they were doing and how wonderful it was for them to be out there in the bad weather, many responded, “it is just what we do. These runs make us appreciate our normal runs.” Several others responded, “You cannot decide that you don’t have cancer because the weather is bad.”
Ah, there it is. It is the reminder of why we are all running and preparing for the Boston Marathon. We are running in hopes that some day, there is a cure for cancer! Until then, we will keep on running one step at a time. We may not be able to jump quickly to the top step, but perhaps if we jump one step at a time together, one day we will look back and see that we made a giant leap that at one time seemed impossible. Thank you for all those in my life that continue to inspire me without even knowing. I am ready for tomorrow and I am stronger because of all your support. I will be meeting several of my fellow teammates at 9am. Look out hills of Derry. Here we come!
With Gratitude,
Kerry D
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